Supporting someone who wants to stop gambling: 7 ways families can help without taking over

When someone close to you decides they want to stop gambling, your support can make a real difference to their recovery. The most effective help respects their autonomy while offering practical assistance, emotional stability and clear boundaries. Children and Families sets out seven ways you can support someone through this process without enabling further harm or shouldering responsibility that belongs to them.

Listen without trying to fix everything at once

The person stopping needs to talk about what they are going through, and your role is to listen rather than solve every problem immediately. Let them describe their feelings, their triggers and their fears without jumping in with solutions or judgement.

Ask open questions that help them reflect: what made them want to stop, what they find hardest, what they think would help. Avoid interrogating them about past lies or losses during these conversations. The aim is to create space where honesty feels safe, not to conduct an audit of everything that went wrong.

Good to know: many people in recovery say that feeling heard by someone they trust was one of the turning points in staying stopped. You do not need training to provide that.

Help them remove access to gambling sites and apps

Practical barriers reduce impulsive decisions during vulnerable moments. GAMSTOP is a free national scheme that blocks access to gambling sites licensed in Great Britain for a period the person chooses when they register. It covers sports betting, bingo, slots and all other products offered by licensed operators.

You can sit with them while they sign up at gamstop.co.uk, or help them install blocking software such as Gamban (gamban.com, paid subscription) or BetBlocker (betblocker.org, free, works across multiple devices). If they have gambling apps on their phone, offer to delete them together so the task does not feel overwhelming.

Some people also need to block access to their own money temporarily. If they agree, you might help them set up an arrangement where wages go into an account you manage together, or where they hand cards to you for a set period. This only works if they have asked for it and the arrangement has a clear end date.

Encourage them to use the tools gambling sites offer

Licensed gambling sites in the UK must provide players with tools to control their activity. Deposit limits cap how much someone can put into their account over a day, week or month. Time-outs suspend an account for a period, preventing login but keeping the account intact. Self-exclusion closes the account for a minimum period and the site must take reasonable steps to prevent the person opening a new one.

If the person is not ready for GAMSTOP but wants some control, suggest they log into any remaining active accounts and set these limits themselves. Offer to be present while they do it if that helps them follow through. Setting a limit before the urge hits is far more effective than trying to stop mid-session.

In practice: someone who has self-excluded from individual sites but not used GAMSTOP can still open accounts elsewhere. GAMSTOP closes that gap across all licensed operators at once.

Protect your own finances while offering emotional support

Supporting someone does not mean giving them money or becoming financially responsible for their debts. You can be kind, present and encouraging without absorbing the consequences of their gambling. If you share finances, take steps now to protect what you and any children rely on.

Separate your accounts if they are joint, or move money you need for bills into an account only you control. Remove them as an authorised user on credit cards. Check your credit report to confirm no accounts have been opened in your name. If you want detail on each of these steps, our guide to protecting your finances from someone else's gambling walks through the process.

This is not punishment. It is a boundary that protects your household and removes temptation when urges return. Many people in recovery say that knowing they cannot access others' money helped them resist impulses they would have acted on before.

Recognise what enabling looks like and stop doing it

Enabling means actions that unintentionally make it easier for someone to keep gambling or avoid facing the results of it. Lending money, paying their debts, covering missed bills, lying to others on their behalf or taking over all responsibilities so they have fewer consequences are all forms of enabling.

Stopping these behaviours feels harsh, but it is one of the most supportive things you can do. The person needs to experience the full weight of their choices in order to sustain the motivation to change. When someone else steps in to smooth things over, the urgency fades.

Worth remembering: you can refuse to enable and still be compassionate. Saying no to a loan does not mean saying no to sitting with them while they phone a debt charity or work out a payment plan.

Be ready for setbacks without treating them as total failure

Relapse is common in recovery from gambling. A single bet after a period of stopping does not mean everything is lost, but it does need to be acknowledged and examined. If the person gambles again, stay calm and ask what happened: what triggered it, how they feel now, what they want to do next.

Do not ignore it or pretend it did not happen. Equally, do not catastrophise or withdraw all support. The goal is to help them understand the pattern so they can respond differently next time. Many people stop successfully after several attempts, and each attempt teaches them something about their triggers and weak points.

If the relapse becomes a full return to gambling, you may need to step back and protect yourself and your family until they are ready to try again. You cannot force someone to recover, and your presence during active gambling may inadvertently support it continuing.

Steps you can take this week to support their recovery

1. Sit down together when you are both calm and ask what kind of support would help them most right now.
2. Offer to help them register for GAMSTOP or install blocking software on their devices, doing it together rather than for them.
3. Write down the names and numbers of organisations they can contact if they need to talk to someone outside the family, and keep the list somewhere visible.
4. Check your own financial boundaries are in place, and if they are not, set them up this week even if it feels awkward.
5. Agree on one small routine you will do together regularly that is not about gambling: a walk, a meal, a phone call at a set time.

Encourage them to talk to others who have stopped

Peer support from people who have been through the same experience offers something family members cannot: the knowledge that recovery is possible and the practical wisdom of how others managed it. Gamblers Anonymous runs free meetings across the UK where people share their experiences without judgement.

Some people prefer one-to-one support or online forums where they can remain anonymous. The important part is that they hear from others who understand what they are feeling and who have found ways through it. Your encouragement to take that step can matter, even if they do not go immediately.

If you are unsure where to point them, our guide to where to get help for problem gambling lists the organisations offering structured support across the country.

Understand what withdrawal looks like and how to respond

Stopping gambling often brings emotional and physical reactions as the brain adjusts to the absence of the activity. Mood swings, irritability, restlessness, difficulty sleeping and intense cravings are all common in the first weeks and months. The person may become withdrawn or unusually agitated.

These symptoms are temporary, but they are real and uncomfortable. Recognising them for what they are helps you respond with patience rather than taking outbursts personally or assuming they have gambled again. If you need more detail on what withdrawal involves and how families can help during it, our article on gambling withdrawal covers the signs and the practical responses that work.

In short: withdrawal is a sign that the person is stopping, not a sign that something is going wrong. It will ease as time passes, though the timeline varies.

Look after your own wellbeing throughout this process

Supporting someone through recovery is draining, and you cannot sustain it if you neglect your own needs. Make time for activities you enjoy, talk to someone you trust about what you are going through, and recognise when you need a break from the intensity of it all.

Some family members find it helpful to attend support groups for those affected by someone else's gambling. Others benefit from counselling to process the betrayal, fear and exhaustion that come with living alongside this issue. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it protects your capacity to remain a stable presence in the other person's life.

Where to get help now

If the person you are supporting needs to talk to someone outside the family, several organisations offer free, confidential support. GamCare runs the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The service is free from landlines and mobiles. You can also reach GamCare online at gamcare.org.uk.

BeGambleAware provides information and support at begambleaware.org. Gordon Moody offers residential and online treatment for those who need more intensive help, at gordonmoody.org.uk.

Gambling is restricted to people aged 18 and over. If someone in your household is under that age and has started gambling, the same organisations can advise on how to respond and where to get support tailored to younger people.

This is an information portal for people in the UK affected by gambling harm. We are not a treatment provider, and we give no personal advice. The guidance on this page is for general information only. If someone is in immediate crisis, contact the National Gambling Helpline or another professional service straight away.

#Recovery #Boundaries #Enabling #GAMSTOP

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