How to protect your finances from someone else's gambling: 7 steps that secure your money

When someone you live with or share finances with is gambling, protecting your own money becomes urgent. Children and Families explains the practical steps you can take now to safeguard your income, savings and credit rating, whether or not the person gambling is ready to admit the problem or seek help.

Separate your bank accounts first

The single most effective step is to open a bank account in your name alone. A sole account means the person gambling cannot withdraw money, transfer funds or see your balance. Choose a different bank from any joint accounts you hold, so statements and correspondence arrive separately.

Set your wages or benefits to pay into this new account. Move any savings you can access into it as well. If you have been using a joint account for your own income, the other person may have been spending it without your knowledge.

Keep the account details private. Do not share your PIN, leave statements where they can be seen, or save login details on a shared device. If you need to keep a debit card at home, store it somewhere only you can reach.

What to do with joint accounts

You cannot close a joint account on your own. Both account holders must agree, or one person can ask the bank to freeze it so no further transactions go through. Freezing stops the person gambling from spending, but it also stops you accessing those funds until the account is settled.

Many people leave a joint account open with a small balance for shared bills, while moving their own income elsewhere. This keeps household payments running without giving access to your wages. Set up a standing order from your sole account to cover your share of rent, mortgage or utilities, rather than depositing your whole income into the joint account first.

Remove your name from joint credit

Joint credit cards, loans and overdrafts link your credit file to the other person's. If they miss payments or borrow more, it damages your credit rating as well as theirs. Lenders see you as equally responsible for the debt, even if you did not spend the money.

Contact each lender and ask to be removed from the account. Some lenders will agree if the remaining account holder can afford the payments alone; others require the account to be closed and the debt cleared or moved into the other person's sole name. Not every lender allows this, but it is worth asking.

If you cannot remove your name, close the account so no further borrowing can happen. The existing balance still affects both credit files until it is paid off, but closing it prevents the debt from growing.

Apply for a financial disassociation

Once all joint accounts are closed, you can apply to the credit reference agencies to break the financial link between you and the other person. This is called a notice of disassociation. It tells lenders to assess your creditworthiness separately, based only on your own accounts and payment history.

You need to apply to all three agencies in the UK: Experian, Equifax and TransUnion. Each has a different process, but all require proof that you no longer share finances. A notice of disassociation does not remove joint accounts from your file, but it stops future lenders assuming you still share money.

Check your credit report now

Order your statutory credit report from each of the three agencies. You are entitled to see your file, and checking it costs nothing. Look for accounts you do not recognise, credit searches you did not authorise, and balances that have grown without your knowledge.

Someone gambling may open credit in your name, add you as a cardholder without telling you, or use your details to borrow. They may also have persuaded you to take out credit on their behalf, promising to make the payments themselves. Either way, your file will show it.

If you find an account you did not agree to, report it to the lender and to Action Fraud. If you did agree but were misled about what you were signing, you are still legally responsible for the debt, but you can take steps to protect yourself from further harm by closing the account and seeking advice from a debt charity such as StepChange or Citizens Advice.

Protecting your income and savings

Beyond separating accounts, there are other ways to safeguard money from gambling. The aim is to make it harder for the person gambling to access funds without your knowledge, and to preserve money for essential spending and for your own future.

1. Set up bill payments as direct debits from your sole account, so rent, mortgage, council tax and utilities are paid before money can be spent elsewhere.
2. Ask your employer to pay your wages into your sole account, and do not tell the person gambling which bank you use or where statements are kept.
3. Move savings into an account with notice periods or limited withdrawals, so the money cannot be taken out instantly even if the other person learns the account exists.
4. Keep any bank cards, chequebooks and PIN reminders in a safe place, such as a locked drawer or with a trusted friend or family member outside the home.
5. Change all online banking passwords and set up two-factor authentication so login requires a code sent to your phone.
6. Check your account balance daily, so you notice unusual transactions quickly and can act before more money is taken.
7. If the person gambling has access to your phone or computer, log out of banking apps and websites after each use, and do not store passwords in browsers.

When theft has already happened

If money has been taken from your account without permission, report it to your bank immediately. Explain what has happened and ask whether the transactions can be reversed. Some banks will refund money taken by fraud, but policies vary when the person who took it lives with you or is a family member.

You may need to report the matter to the police to unlock certain protections. This is a difficult decision when the person gambling is someone you care about, but it may be the only way to recover the money or to prove to creditors that you were not responsible for spending it. Organisations such as GamCare can talk through your options if you are unsure what to do next.

Set boundaries around money and stick to them

Protecting finances is not only about accounts and passwords. It also means deciding what you will and will not do with your money, and holding to that decision even under pressure. Someone gambling may ask you for loans, to pay their debts, to cover household bills they have not paid, or to hand over money for what sound like emergencies.

Each time you give money, it frees up their own funds to gamble with. This is sometimes called enabling. It feels like helping, but it allows the gambling to continue and places your own financial security at risk. Saying no is not punishment; it is protecting yourself and removing one route that feeds the problem.

Decide in advance what you are willing to pay for. Many people choose to keep paying their share of rent, mortgage and utilities directly, but refuse to cover the other person's debts, lend money or pay for non-essentials. Write your boundary down if it helps you remember it under pressure, and tell a trusted friend what you have decided so you have someone to remind you when the person gambling pushes back.

What to say when asked for money

You do not need to give a reason beyond "I cannot afford to lend you money" or "I have decided not to." If the person gambling knows you have savings or have been paid, they may argue that you can afford it. Hold the line. You are allowed to keep your own money for your own needs, now and in the future.

If they say it is an emergency, offer to pay the bill directly rather than handing over cash. If it is a genuine emergency, this solves the problem; if it is not, the request will often be dropped. For advice on setting and maintaining boundaries, the article on how to talk to someone about their gambling offers conversation starters that may help.

Legal protections when you are married or in a civil partnership

Marriage and civil partnership create legal ties around money and property that do not exist for couples who live together but are not married. In England and Wales, both partners are responsible for household debts such as council tax and utility bills, even if only one name is on the account. A creditor can pursue either of you for the full amount.

If your home is jointly owned or in both names on a tenancy, you cannot be forced to leave, but gambling debts can still threaten it. Mortgage or rent arrears put the property at risk, and a lender may seek possession if payments are not made. If you are paying your share and the other person is not, document every payment so you can show a court you have met your obligations.

For debts that are in the other person's name alone, you are not automatically liable, even if you are married. A lender cannot chase you for a credit card, loan or overdraft that is not in your name, unless you acted as guarantor or the debt was taken out jointly. If a creditor contacts you about a debt that is not yours, write back to confirm you are not responsible and keep a copy of the letter.

When to involve others

You do not have to protect your finances alone. If the situation is urgent or you feel out of your depth, there are people who can help. A debt adviser from a charity such as StepChange or National Debtline can explain your legal position, help you prioritise debts and negotiate with creditors on your behalf. Their services are free and confidential.

If you are being pressured, threatened or abused because you will not hand over money, that is financial abuse. Contact a domestic abuse service such as the National Domestic Abuse Helpline or Refuge, even if there is no physical violence. Financial control and coercion are recognised forms of abuse, and specialist organisations can help you plan for safety and access legal protections.

For children affected by a parent or carer's gambling, the impact can be profound. If you are worried about a young person in your household, what gambling harm is and how it affects families explains the warning signs and where to find support designed for children and teenagers.

Where to get help

Gambling harm affects everyone in a household, not just the person gambling. If you are struggling with the financial or emotional impact, support is available now. GamCare offers a free helpline on 0808 8020 133, open every day, and webchat at gamcare.org.uk. BeGambleAware provides information and resources at begambleaware.org.

If the person gambling is ready to take action, GamStop at gamstop.co.uk offers free self-exclusion from all gambling sites licensed in Great Britain. For longer-term support, Gordon Moody provides residential and online treatment at gordonmoody.org.uk.

Blocking software can prevent access to gambling sites on shared devices. Gamban at gamban.com is a paid subscription service that works across phones, tablets and computers. BetBlocker at betblocker.org is free and covers multiple platforms. If you share a device with a child, parental-control software such as Net Nanny or Qustodio can restrict what sites they can reach.

Gambling is for people aged 18 and over. If you or someone you know needs help now, the National Gambling Helpline is available any time on 0808 8020 133.

This is an information site for families and individuals affected by gambling harm. We are not a financial adviser, debt management company or legal service. The steps described here are for general guidance; for advice on your specific situation, contact a regulated debt adviser or solicitor.

#Financial abuse #Boundaries

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